Requiem for a Dream Wedding

I quit. I've lost all hope. I'm too damn poor to have a wedding, and I'm starting to think either eloping or putting the whole thing off altogether are our only options at this point.

Bruno has a family reunion to save up for, my mom keeps pressuring me to go back to school and finish my degree, and both Bruno and I are still over our heads in debt. Not that we even make enough money to pay for any of those things, much less a wedding.

Yep. I think the best way to describe how I feel can be summed up in one sentence: I pretty much want to shoot myself right now because it depresses me how ridiculously broke we are. Okay, maybe not literally, but I think the situation calls for some melodrama. The thought of marrying into each others debt makes me shudder, and the thought of creating even more debt in order to fund a single day just seems so irrational. It's just one measly day, after all.

One measly day we'll both remember for the rest of our lives. One measly day I've been dreaming about since I was a small child. Oh God, forgoing our wedding is just too depressing to even think about.

Maybe I should rob a bank. I think that's what I'll do. I'm going to rob a bank. Okay, maybe I won't. That would mean certain death. I'm not capable of robbing a bank. Or beating up hookers, as promising as that sounds. I guess I just have to settle with the hand I'm dealt - a 2, a 7, an Uno card, a Monopoly dollar, and that random card in the pack advertising other Bicycle Cards products available to purchase.

This is too much to deal with right now, especially while I'm supposed to be "on vacation." Unfortunately, I'm one of those people who will fixate on and obsess over things to the point that it's unhealthy. Ask my future husband; he knows better than anyone. I can't even enjoy my all-expenses-paid break from work because all I can think about is how much of a waste of time it is and how I should be back in Fort Worth right now working my ass off to pay for an impossible wedding.

Anyway, I digress. Thanks for stopping by my pity party, guest list of 1. I can't afford anything bubbly enough to cheer me up or hard enough to drown away my sorrows, but feel free to grab a glass of tap water if you're feeling parched.