My Girls

I've only officially asked one of my girls to be my bridesmaid, but I think I've got a pretty good idea of who I want to stand up for me. I've been putting "the proposals" off for a while now because I'm waiting until Bruno and I can agree upon a firm date. That being said, I never realized how difficult it is to choose my bridal party! My best friend of all time is actually a male, and I really don't have many female friends at all. Most of the few female friends I do have don't get along with each other. It's just stressful all around. It's also difficult because even if I don't have a super small and close-knit group of girlfriends, there are still so many ladies in my life who mean so much to me, that I can't begin to fathom that they not be a part of my wedding. Depending on how big the wedding is, I may have a house party, in addition to the bridal party, just so I can have an excuse to include them. I just have to ponder it all more, methinks, and I have plenty of time.

Until then, I've been working on my "vision" for my ladies. I can't tell you how excited I am!

The venue Bruno and I  decide on (see last post) will ultimately determine the feel of the wedding. Right now it's bordering vintage and rustic.

I know for a fact that I don't want my girls in gowns. Bruno and I want the wedding to feel more casual and fun, rather than stuffy and formal. I want my girls to be cute and comfortable, so I hope to find them some short, cute vintage-inspired dresses (think Anthropologie). I love the idea of non-matching dresses as well because it gives them the opportunity to choose a shade and style that flatters each girl the best and that each girl feels comfortable in.

Here's some examples of dresses in coordinating colors, styles, and prints:

However, I would ideally like to have them choose dresses that are at least within the same color family:

At this point, I'm thinking I want them in shades of champagne/taupe/tan, like the photos below. I think it goes well against both a rustic and a vintage backdrop, plus it would look great with a pink peony bouquet (assuming those are the flowers I decide on).

Depending on whether we decide on a more rustic theme or a more vintage theme, I'm also brainstorming ideas for accessories. For a wedding on the more rustic end of the scale (if we decide on one of the ranches we're looking into), I've considered having the girls in (Bruno will kill me when he reads this) brown cowboy boots:

Now, if we decide to lean toward the more vintage end of the spectrum (like if we decide on a venue like Barr Mansion or Allan House), obviously boots aren't going to cut it. I'm thinking, since the girls will be wearing non-matching dresses, perhaps the their shoes could be matching. Obviously, I would be unable to decide on an exact color or style until I got a better idea of what their dresses would look like, but these are a few I love:

Aldo "Orpin" Peep-Toe Pumps, $90

Miss Alexa, $295

Miss Selfridge nude seam platform, $63

KG by Kurt Geiger "Echinacea", $235

Christian Louboutin "Madame Butterfly", $945

Anthropologie "Tattered Cosmos Sandals", $115

Coach "Sierra" Thong, $188

One really cute accessory I love for a vintage theme are off-white, wrist-length lace gloves. I can't say I'm completely sold on them yet, but they looked so great in this shoot, paired with long strings of pearls:

As for hair, I'd really love it if my girls have hair long enough to style in a long, low side ponytail like the one below. I also hope to either buy or make them coordinating silk flowers (or some other sort of hair accessory, perhaps like the headbands above).

I don't know; it's all still up in the air right now, but that should provide a pretty good idea of what I've got going through my head as of this moment.

Bridesmaid Gifts!

I think I've found my bridesmaid gifts! Now, if I could just find my bridesmaids...hahaha.

Counting Down the Days

I miss Bruno terribly. He surprised me this weekend by showing up in College Station while I was there visiting my brother with my parents. I was so shocked to see him; I didn't even know how to react. I just sort of stared at him for a second before blurting out "What are you doing here?!" I was so happy to see him, though. The teary goodbye the Wednesday prior just wasn't enough. It was nice to spend the weekend with him. Just to see him again was such a blessing. We were even fortunate to spend the last night together in each other's arms. Sure, it was on the floor of JJ's room with my parents in the bed beside us, but I'll take what I can get. I don't know what I'm going to do without that boy for five months.

In other news, I've started my wedding planning. My friend Ashley gave me her old wedding planning books after she got married and I've accumulated quite a collection of wedding magazines over the past year or so, but I left them all in Fort Worth. I'm really regretting it now. Tomorrow, I think I'm going to run to the bookstore and buy some new ones, I guess. I really need to start planning while I'm in the Philippines. It can't wait until I get back in March, especially because Bruno is wanting to do it soon after I return.

We were talking about an approximate date on the phone yesterday night, and we're having difficulty coming to a decision. As much as I would like to marry soon, especially to avoid complications his service in the Army might cause, it just doesn't appear plausible to me. First of all, we can't afford it. I won't be working while I'm out of the country, and he's currently job-hunting. The only income he has right now is from ROTC, which will all be going to bills while I'm away. Second of all, that wouldn't leave me much time to plan. I don't think he realizes how much this wedding will cost and how much time and effort we must put into planning it.

I really would prefer a fall wedding, as it's my favorite season, but I'd be willing to settle for winter. Fall 2010 would be nice and I'm sure Bruno would agree, but, as I said, there's no way we'll have enough money at that time and I would only have five or so months to plan when I get back from the Philippines. I was hoping Fall 2011 would be better, as it would give us more time to plan and save without drawing out the engagement ridiculously long; however, after speaking to Bruno I learned that he'll be leaving for BOLC (Basic Officer Leadership Course, basically his branch-specific training that lasts several months) in Summer 2011.

I spoke to my best friend, and he feels that Fall 2010 is too early but Fall 2011 is too late. He suggested Spring 2011, but I really despise Texas springtime. I hate spring to begin with - the colors, the fashion, everything - but in Texas, spring weather is far too unpredictable and I was starting to consider an outdoor wedding reception.

I'm beginning to think Winter 2010 would be our best option. Not the best option, as I see it being inconvenient for our guests, but if that's what we have to do.

I just don't know what to do. I'm so overwhelmed. I don't even know who to ask to be my bridesmaids. I don't even know who to ask to be my Maid of Honor! I don't have many female friends. My best friend who I've been through everything with and who I know I can depend on is a guy. It's really frustrating.

Then, it's even more difficult because I can't talk to my mom about it. She wasn't happy with the engagement, so I'm scared to push too hard. I'm hoping we can discuss it more during the trip.

I'm having trouble talking to Bruno about it as well. He's always so apathetic to everything. I express my financial concerns with him, and instead of discussing our options with me, all he can give me is a "Don't worry, we'll figure it out." How can I not worry? I'll spend months not worrying until the day is finally here and nothing is planned and we have no money. I just wish he would be practical and realize that this is something we need to talk about. Ignoring it won't make it go away, nor will it make money suddenly appear out of nowhere.

I have the feeling I'm going to be on my own for this - a bit depressing considering this is the beginning of our life together.